Dealing with betrayal in a marriage is brutally tough, and it can come in many different forms. The emotional fallout of being betrayed by the person you trusted most cuts deep. Even so, it is possible to heal from it, even if your marriage ultimately didn't survive.
In order to move forward and heal, the first step is acknowledging what happened and being open about how it made you feel. Expressing the hurt, anger, sadness, frustration, and disappointment is key. You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge.
Acknowledging your feelings out loud is a form of validating your experience and allows you to gain power over it. Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide great insight and help you process your feelings too.
Betrayal isn’t something you just “get over”. It takes a significant time to heal from. Often, a grieving process accompanies processing feelings of betrayal. Because of this, being patient with yourself and giving yourself permission to feel and process those real and powerful emotions is vital.
Rebuilding trust is not easy. It requires transparency, accountability, and consistent behavior over time. In order to restore trust the betrayer has to take full responsibility and act with complete integrity going forward.
It is imperative that you establish clear boundaries. Being upfront about your expectations and needs is crucial.
Forgiveness is also essential for healing and moving forward. Keep in mind that forgiveness is not for those who wounded us, it’s to untether ourselves from the pain that has been unfairly imposed upon us. The demands of accountability and justice are still in tact, even when we choose to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't condone or excuse betrayal. It simply means we choose to let go of corrosive resentment that is lingering in us.

Despite the betrayal, try not to lose sight of the positives that remain in tact, even after betrayal.
If you choose to reconcile, you’ll want to nurture what you still appreciate about each other. If separating, though painful, cherish the memories and growth you experienced together during the good times.
Betrayal crushes us. But there is hope. We can overcome it. By communicating, through forgiveness, taking the time and making space for us to heal, and restoring trust and positivity in our lives, we can find peace again.
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