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During the holidays many of us look forward to having time off and spending it with loved ones. It can be a time of building our relationships and creating positive memories. However, it also can be a time of great stress as we spend time with extended family members and loved ones who may not share our personal, religious or political views. Because of this, our relationships could also become tainted if we are not intentionally aware.
Since the only person we have control over is ourselves and cannot control the behaviors of others, here are five things you can do to help navigate the holidays to create more happy memories and walk away with fewer bumps and bruises.
1. You’ll want to reduce or limit your alcohol intake. It’s perfectly appropriate to celebrate with cheer during the holidays. Keep in mind though that the more alcohol we consume our inhibitions and filters are lowered and we can tend to say things that would cause regret. Also, our behavior can become more aggressive. Limiting your alcohol intake will keep your mind and judgment clear.
2. Let it go! Try to focus on maintaining peace in your relationships during the holidays. Don’t get caught up in who’s right and who’s wrong in things that are matters of opinions. Let go of any comments or opinions that may not be mutually shared. Remember that often remarks are made without thought or intention of stinging, and with the additional stress of the holidays and different surroundings this can be magnified. Keep this in mind and forgive quickly.
3. Have an escape plan. You know your family and loved ones. And you know how much you can handle. Before going to an event or gathering, identify an escape plan. This could be identifying before-hand what time you will leave an event and sharing that with your host/hostess. It could be identifying an ally you can pull aside gracefully when tensions start getting high. You could establish a code word you share with your family, so they know to rescue you from a conversation or know you are ready to leave. You can decide to step outside for “fresh air” or go play with the children when you need a mental break. Determining this before hand will make it easier to find relief when a stressful situation presents itself.
4. Have a positive attitude. Sometimes during the holidays, we focus on the drama that others are creating in a situation and not being aware of what we are bringing to the party. Are you being part of the problem or part of the solution? Try to look for the best in others, in the situation, and whenever possible try to help others see that as well. It could be something as simple as changing the subject to, “The tree looks beautiful doesn’t it? What’s your favorite ornament?”
5. Show gratitude. Look for ways to show gratitude. When you intentionally look for things to be grateful for, it’s more difficult to find fault around you and it’s easier to rise above negative off handed comments. When you express gratitude, it brings the spirit of the holidays to life to your heart and to others. After all, who doesn’t appreciate hearing, “thank you?”
Just today a sweet friend sent me a text telling me that she appreciated my friendship and loved me. It meant the world to me and made my day. Think of your loved ones talents and what they do contribute and share your gratitude for them. It will boost your relationship.
6. Look for Ways to serve. Whether it's setting the table, filling someone's glass, clearing the dinner plates, keeping a niece or nephew occupied, or helping by taking out Christmas trash, look for ways that you can provide service whether you are hosting or not. This will help reduce the work load, demonstrates appreciation, will keep you from feeling bored, will reduce stress levels of the host/hostess or your partner, and it will create small bonding moments that will help create lasting positive memories.
By implementing these few strategies during the holidays, you will be able to walk away with less stress and increase your chances of creating happier memories.
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