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It’s fascinating to me that when I ask individuals, “who are you?” the answers I tend to get are, “I’m a mother.” “I’m a father.” “I’m an architect.” “I’m a teacher.” These answers are roles we take on and what we do, but do they describe who a person is? The answer is no.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself this question, “Who am I?” Close your eyes, take a deep breath and really reflect on who you are. Are you an introvert? An extrovert? Are you honest? Argumentative? Passionate? Do you enjoy structure? Do you fly by the seat of your pants? Do you like a fast-paced lifestyle or quiet nights at home? What lights a fire in you?
Who are you really? And why is it important to know who you are?
Knowing who you are is essential to feeling confidence, to be able to truly connect with other individuals (personally, professionally or spiritually) and to become the best you possible. When we don’t know who we are being alone can not only be scary but lonely.
Several years ago after divorcing my husband, my children were at his home for visitation and I found myself alone for a few weeks. At first, I was really lonely and quite honestly depressed. I’d walk from room to empty room and not really know what to do with myself. I’d binge watch tv but after a couple of days I was bored, empty and still feeling lonely. I really struggled and spent a lot of time crying and trying to process these lonely feelings.
It was then that I came to the realization that even though my divorce was painful and I was feeling lonely, that I didn’t have to. I recognized that this time was a gift and a chance to reinvent myself. It was then that I gave a lot of thought to who I was and what I wanted out of life. Now that I no longer had the label of wife and had free time to do what I wanted, who was I and what did I want to do? I then thought about what I was passionate about and realized I missed learning, dancing, travel, and spending time with friends. These were all things that fell by the wayside while married to my ex husband. The realization that I was now free to pursue those things again excited me about new opportunities that I could pursue. I connected with a singles group, enrolled in college, and began dancing again. Joy reignited in my life and I began looking forward to each day. The loneliness I had previously experienced disappeared completely and I was happy for the first time in years. Too often we get lost in our relationships with our significant others, or get caught up in the things we “have to do” every day and lose sight of “us”. But we don’t need to live like that.
To find joy It is vital for us to know who we are, to not lose sight of that, and to live our lives according to our passions.
When we don’t we become lonely and try to fill that void with “stuff” that only temporarily distracts us from the underlying pain we are truly experiencing. This is how addiction and behaviors of isolation begin.
Although technology may create opportunities to connect with the multiple social media platforms, isolation and feelings of loneliness are at an all time high. In fact, loneliness is the growing epidemic of this generation. One in four individuals in America is struggling with depression.
One would think with all these platforms and opportunities to connect we as humans would feel less lonely and not more. A big part of that is that we've lost touch with ourselves and who we are. When you think about it though how can you share with someone else something you've lost sight of?
True confidence and the ability to connect comes from self awareness. So, who are you, really?
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